the subtle stoic!!

I can remember sitting calmly telling the limpet man many times....I don't even actually like you.....Why won't you go?

The lack of hysterical screaming, the leveled eyes, the rational questioning.....

I know a lot of people will say things in anger....I know that people say a lot of things that don't make sense....they of course don't realise they aren't making sense....I know I was making sense. enter -------> once in a lifetime, talking heads

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-io-kZKl_BI&feature=related

I asked him once over dinner.... Don't you take me seriously when I ask you to go?



His reply?? "You haven't called the police yet to help you get me out"

let's just sit for a minute and take in this statement.......

and we're back.....Of course retrospectively I should have made a swan dive for the phone commando rolled over and over up the hall locking myself in the toilet using hushed tones.....yes officer please hurry I think he may need to go to the toilet soon....
but no...I rose to the challenge of...

I'm not doing that!! That's just silly!! enter ------silly thing, sex pistols

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3V2Ium02gQ

I have since learned that to truly see another person you must learn to walk a mile in their shoes
but I have also learned there is such a thing as compromise.....in the first post I stated that the ultimate end to the relationship was the ceremonial dumping of all his clothes in the puddle outside whereupon he accepted the police weren't going to come and I had finally made the gesture that would make him feel uncomfortable.

of course I was angry when he tried to ruin me financially....I was still paying off the debts months later when he started a barrage of text and email campaign to woo me back to his love horn....

here are a few choice snippets:


"I love ur non-conformist ways, yes, I'm fighting for us, don't give up on us"
"I have a love horn"
"I bombarded you with those texts just to be absolutely sure there was nothing there"
"I thought if I attacked it with gusto I might have removed that barrier"
"Certainly won't be visiting a relationship for a while. I'm not keen on fucking anyone else up until I've worked through what went wrong"

He has since moved city to be with his love who he met on a dating site which started a couple of weeks after the barrage of emails and texts enter-------> reasons to be cheerful part 3, Ian Dury

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD9AFG1GdgI

lessons I have learned from this exercise

when using calm clear concise reasoning the message won't always come across unless backed up by a burly policeman...
for anyone who thinks of re-visiting a relationship make sure that you haven't put that person into debt, or at least wait for a while until they are affluent enough to forgive.
sometimes it helps to use graphics or stimuli to go with the words that you use, for example, I don't like you, accompanied with jug of water and a placard in bold red letters saying I hate you!!.....this way if you happen to say it enough there will be a stimulus response not unlike Pavlov's dogs....they will at least move out of the way of the water they know is about to hit